Holding Down the Laughter

LETRA

Holding Down the Laughter

Styrofoam cup of mud in my good hand
Disembodied voice of God in the trash can
Eyes in the ashes, feeling for the future
Sleeping through the stakeout, researching the rumor

A mile, a motor, a mattress, a memory
At first, you were embarrassed
But how could you not be?
Tangled and teenaged, mom at the movies
Your voice ran out out of words
It was awkward and holy

The gospel in your belly, the ache a little lower
'Back into the breach,' you spoke as its owner
A syndicated sermon you sang from the rafters
Anchors in your pockets, holding down the laughter

Tearing up your mind, your lust and your ego
A slingshot reminder to speed your libido
The parish goes to jelly, blissful and wasted
Your Vishnu eye slips open and pictures them naked

In complicating your worst mixed message
You built then burnt a bridge
And scattered all your crumbs at the cliff
'If she wants me, she'll swim for it.'

Brother, can you spare your alms or your arrows?
The thunderclaps are rising, I think that I should go home
To the basement back on Jumel Street
1996 and you're waiting there to tell me
'I didn't die, you dreamt it, you dreamt it
I'm as alive as your best good intentions
I'm sorry that I tricked you, you had to focus
Put yourself together and clear out the garbage.'

But for all that effort
That slow-burn struggle
You forgot where you lived

She swept away the clues from the cliff, you're lost now
She swept away the clues from the cliff, you're lost now
She swept away the clues from the cliff, you're lost now
Remember it

She swept away the clues from the cliff, you're lost now
Remember it