I Am Cupid

LETRA

I Am Cupid

I am Cupid!
The Liaison of Love, the Constable of Crush, the Soldier of Swoon
I am Cupid
The nearly fully grown cherubic newly fully clothed angelic student of prudent lurid lust your parents warned you about
I am Cupid
The oh-so-subtle mafioso breaking into your heart, strapped with semi-automatic good intentions
Demanding "show me some love or break yourself bitch!"
I am Cupid
The merciful mercenary burying card-carrying hatordate crusaders and Mc-dating, more outrageous than the latest pages on space invaders
I am Cupid
And I can do whatever the f*** I want

If I wanted to, I could shoot an arrow through the back of a man standing in front of a mirror
watch him fall in love with his own reflection and attempt to get with himself with a clear
Conscience- I could put some crystal on ice
Blast some Jill Scott at the White House at night
And hook John Ashcroft up with Condoleezza Rice

If I wanted to I could work things out with Justin and Britney and Bobby and Whitney
And if I couldn't find someone man enough for the Statue of Liberty I could break off the Washington Monument for her pleasure because after all a woman knows her own needs best

If I wanted to I could tell you why girls at dances wear uncomfortable stilettos they they'll take off in five mintutes
And how to bring up your unmentionables in a conversation without even mentioning them
I could tell all the guys why there are so many girls out there who want you as bad as you want their best friend
And I could tell you why all women, without exception make sweeping generalizations
I could cook up and hook up and look up the fate of a breakup and stake out a make out location in the case of a Casanova in over his head

I could if I wanted to, but forgive me the shit just seems a little trivial these days, I mean
The world as we know it is about to cave in on itself and I am wasting the almighty power of love on the heavy-hearted bourgeoisie?
It's 2004 I think it's high time for more goal-oriented Cupid
Cupid REMIX International Edition!

(singing)
Automatic, diplomatic- do what you do playa
Just keep some lovin' on your mind

I'm gonna shoot an arrow through Pakistan's heart and watch it go make out with India in the backseat of its Camaro
I'm gonna sprinkle love doses all over the Middle East and see Israel and Palestine moaning in the throes of passion on the West Bank
And I'm gonna teach the president to stop fuc*** the world over and show him how to make love
I want the USA and Iraq to rock to Rockin' the Casbah, giving each other rubdowns with calamine oil
No more deleting or creeping, no more cheating silently in pantomime on Middle Eastern allies claiming oil as an alibi
And I want to hear George W. Bush asking Saddam Hussein to be his Valentine

Don't say peace in the East is a fleeting mirage
I know Sweden be needing a Swedish massage
I see Eden right here and I'm fiendin the cause
by the evening I'm leaving to see that this heathen gets Ireland, England, and Whales to minage
Basically George Porgie's pushing for a diplomatic orgy

Uganda, Botswana, Guyana, Peru
Namibia, Libya, India too
Afghanistan, Pakistan, Tajikistan, Kirghiizistan, Kazakhstan tell 'em I'm comin' for you
I'm gonna get all the tanning oil and give the world a sensual full body massage
Dislodging misogyny causing a total global collage and going rope-a-dope on folks who go for broke on breaking hope and groping fraud
So Cupid just quit his deskjob, Bob
and this vigilante love god's marauding on uncharted ground
the standard rounds of applause lauded on liberally living the cause
Giving the flaws a bit of the credit of breaking the laws and giving me migraines my pain is the refrain of a symphony of sympathy sweeping the planet
Damnit I've got a blazing arrow and I'm not afraid to plant it right in your ass if you've got one ounce of anti-romantic Semitic semantics in you that you wanna pass off as true
If you're a threat to global harmony I'm comin' for you
Not to hurt you just to show you what some lovin' can do
The age of fighting is through, we'll be as close as superglue
If you get off your ass and show some goddamn love to Cupid too